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Move over Brandon
Move over Brandon
Some attribute dark and supernatural powers to Joe "Brandon" Biden based on pictures photo-shopped with sinister glowing eyes. They claim that these powers allow Uncle Joe to:
play 12-dimensional chess against his political foes
give speeches in ominously lit rooms
use the word malarkey
Extensive investigation has revealed no evidence of these claims of dark omnipotence.
Dark Zmuda Ascendant
Dark Zmuda Ascendant
Further investigation revealed that our team could also draw ominous glowing eyes on Ryan Zmuda. So we gave him three glowing eyes, making him Dark Zmuda, possibly even Darker Zmuda. Unlike the disappointing Dark Brandon, Dark Zmuda has laser eyes. What is he shooting with the laser eyes in this picture? No one knows, and no one ever will. For the sake of humanity, some question should be left unanswered
Other assumed powers of Dark Zmuda include:
setting off volcanic eruptions on distant planets
turning invisible when unobserved
arguing with people on social media
We have not even probed the surface of what Dark Zmuda is capable and suspect further investigation will reveal even more powers.
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